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Campaigns
Return to Auros IX
Introduction <> Battle #1 <> Battle #2 <> Battle #3 <> Battle #4 <> Battle #5 <> Final Thoughts

Return to Auros IX: Battle #1   by Patrick Eibel and Kenton Kilgore
Well, here it is, the first battle of the new campaign, the sequel to our very first one. Here at the Equatorial Rainforest, we never rest on our laurels, so we’re doing something a little different than what you might expect. This battle ties up some unresolved issues from the first campaign, namely, the conflict between Warboss Sho-T BigHed, who’s been ruling Auros IX for some time; and his upstart, treacherous, former comrade Speedo the Big Mek, who is vying to take the planet for himself. 

Orks vs. Orks: something you don’t see every day! It promised to be a mess of bloody hand-to-hand combat. Patrick would be playing Sho-T and his Blood Axe boyz, while I would be assuming the role of Speedo and his Kult of Speed. 

Seeing as how Pat owns a massive collection of greenskins, I went to his house without a single figure of my own (I didn’t even bring dice, templates, or measuring tape--just a camera and a notepad). Pat had a list of all the Ork units we owned, and we took turns picking which ones we wanted, just like he and I (and probably you too, if you were an American kid in the Seventies and Eighties) did in games of football, basketball, or baseball, whether in gym class or after school. That’s right, no drawing up army lists ahead of time, just “Let me have those Trukk Boyz--how many points are they, and what do they come with?””

Blood Axes (2000 points)   by Patrick Eibel
I knew that Kenton would be going for the speedy options to form his Kult of Speed, so I decided to go a different route. One of my favorite ways to build an Ork army is to bring lots and lots of Boyz with lots and lots of guns. Which is exactly what I did in this battle. There are simply too many guys to kill, and though they’re not very accurate, they throw out enough firepower to take down the enemy eventually.  Since I knew Kenton would be cornering the market on vehicles, I made sure to snatch up all the anti-tank guns I could with Lootas, Tankbustas, and a Boom wagon.

  • Warboss Sho-T BigHed w/ mega armor, cybork body, kustom shoota, power klaw, and attack squig
  • Big Mek Sprokkits w/ ‘eavy armor, power klaw, and kustom force field
  • 18 ‘Ard Boyz, including Nob w/ ‘eavy armor, power klaw, and bosspole 
  • Battlewagon w/ grot riggers, deffrolla, and armor plates for Sho-T, Sprokkits,  and the ‘Ard Boyz
  • 12 Lootas  w/ deffguns and 3 Meks w/ mega-blastas
  • 9 Tankhuntas w/ rokkit launchas, 1 Tankhunta w/ a tankhammer, and 3 bomb squigs
  • Two mobz of 30 Shoota Boyz each, each mob including 3 big shootas and a Nob w/ ‘eavy armor, power klaw, and bosspole
  • 30 Gretchin and 3 Runtherds, including one w/ a grot prod
  • 18 Stormboyz, including Nob w/ ‘eavy armor, power klaw, and bosspole
  • Boom Wagon. Looted vehicle w/ boomgun, big shoota, armor plates, and ‘ard case

That’s a whole lot of Boyz and a whole lotta dakka, and there’s no way that Kenton and that weedy git Speedo can handle it!

Kult of Speed (1999 points)  by Kenton Kilgore
Diving into character, I was determined to field a “proppaKult of Speed: after all, what kind of Big Mek would Speedo (named because of his penchant for over-acceleration? Or for his choice of swimwear?) be if he didn’t have lots and lots of vehicles in his army? Accordingly, every unit has a ride, and I didn’t take anything if it didn’t or couldn’t motorvate. I’m also very, very fond of Troops and Nobz mobz, so I loaded up on those.

  • Speedo the Big Mek w/ kustom force field, choppa and burna;
  • 19 Slugga Boyz (including Nob w/ power klaw, ‘eavy armor, and bosspole) mounted in Battlewagon  ("Da Speedomobile") w/ armor plates, grot riggers, and deffrolla
  • 10 Nobz on Cyboars (count as warbikes) w/ big choppas, Waaagh! banner;
  • 5 mobz of 12 Trukk Boyz each (“Da Orange TopKnotz,” “Tan Squad 1,” “Da Freebootaz,” “Da Dethskullz,” “Tan Squad 2”),  including Nobz w/ power klaws, ‘eavy armor, and bosspoles; Boyz w/ rokkit launchas; and big shootas on the Trukks;
  • 3 Warbuggies w/ twin-linked rokkit launchas

The strength of a Kult is its speed and mobility; its weakness is its lack of numbers. My “kunnin’ plan” was to use my strength to engage a portion of Pat’s army and create gross mismatches. As you will see, that was, of course, easier said than done.

Setting Up  by Kenton Kilgore
We played at Pat’s house, on the 4' x 8' Blood Deserts boards that I made many, many moons ago. As is our habit, Pat set up the table and I picked what side I wanted. The mission was “Waaagh!” from the recently-released Battle Missions book, and though we were both playing greenskins, I was considered the “Ork” player, and thus, got to set up (and go) first. 

Pat and I put out four objectives: two fairly close together on my side of the board; one on Pat’s far left flank; and one towards the middle, near the first two. I decided to hold the two on my side right away and go after the one in the middle. The last objective (on my right) on Pat’s side was too far away to be viable: I didn’t have enough guys that I could afford to split up my forces and send some to try and take it. If Pat wanted it, he was welcome to it, and it was so far off that the forces that held it would not be able to do anything else in the battle.

Description: Description: C:\Users\Keeg\Desktop\Kenton's files\The Jungle\website\return1a.jpg
Da board and da Boyz. That's Sho-T's Battlewagon there in the foreground, behind that hill. On top of the hill is an objective.

I clumped my army on my left side, starting off with two Trukk Boy Mobz (“Tan Squad 1” and “Freebootaz”) stationed on top of or near the two closest objectives.  Everything else I put into a wedge of transports, cyboars (proxied Warbikes) and Buggies, ready to zoom forward using as cover the plentiful buildings and other scenery at that end of the table.

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Da Kult, with Tan Squad 1 (and an objective) in the tower and the Freebootaz atop a building (the objective's at the bottom)

Pat deployed most of his army to counter mine, with Gretchin out front, backed by Shoota Boyz. The Lootas took up a position atop a tower, where they would have cover and clear lanes of fire. Tankbustas and Stormboyz started off on and behind (respectively) a large hill, with the Looted Wagon between them and the rest of the ladz. Sho-T and his ‘Ard Boyz began in their Battlewagon, far on Pat’s left flank (my right), intent on seizing the objective that I had already written off. 

Description: Description: C:\Users\Keeg\Desktop\Kenton's files\The Jungle\website\return1c.jpg
Sho-T's Gretchins, Shoota Boyz, and Lootas, directly across from Speedo's ladz

In most cases, the “Ork” player (that is, me) gets the first turn, but Pat (aided by the hated Loyal Green Die ™) successfully managed to steal the initiative, and the fight was on! Because this battle is Orks vs. Orks, the play-by-play will be in “proppaOrk-speak: it might help your comprehension if you mouth the words as you read along, in the same way that all Orks (and most Baltimore Ravens fans) move their lips when they read. If you have a low tolerance for butchered English, you may wish to skip to the end to see what happened….

Turn 1  by Kenton Kilgore
“Ah, yoo gotz to be kiddin me, Ace,” Speedo growled, ta no one in partikular. Da Big Mek had ment ta get da jump on dat fat zogger Sho-T, but sumhowz, he had found out aboutz it and his boyz had been quikka on da trigga. Whatta revoltin  develobdeveledmentsitumakashun, Speedo tot. He cud only curz as da Blood Axe Boyz—most uv dem, anyway—moved up and started doin dat shooty-shoot ting.

Da Tankbustas were da first ta fire, lettin’ da Trukk uv da Orange TopKnot Boyz (named cuz uv dere hairsquig style, uv curs) have it wit some dakka, makin’ it a right proppa wreck wit its self immobilizeed and its big shoota krumped. Da Lootas shot next at da Trukk uv Tan Squad 2, and dere ride went KABOOM!  undderr dem. Two Tan Boyz got demselves perished in da big ‘blosion, and da Freebootaz next ta dem went ta ground like girly grots so as dey didn’t get dere pretty dresses all mussed up. 

One mess uv Shoota Boyz let da Freebootazave it wit dere big shootas, nixin’ one ‘boot. Da udder Shoota Boyz  gave some hot led to da Dethskullz’s Trukk, but nuttindoin’ dis time. Finalish, da Boom Wagon made a big wet spooge on da Boarboy Nobz, hittin’ nine of dem and waxin’ two. “Nertz!” Speedo snarled.

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"'It da gas!" Speedo gives the order to floor it as the Kult zooms up to give Sho-T's boyz some prison-style lovin'

Da Freebootaz and da Tan Boyz 1 sat tight-like while da rest of Speedo’s ladz moved up plenty quick-quick. Tan Squad 1’s empty Trukk came and picked up Tan Squad 2; da Orange TopKnotz got in da empty Trukk uv da Freebootaz. Firin’ off a hol mess uv dakka from da Boyz and Buggies, the Kult bagged one uv da Lootas, but da next turn was sure to have sum more-Orky fistykuffs

Turn 2
Waggin’ his prodigeeous midda finga in Speedo’s general direction, Sho-T ordered ‘is boyz to keep on wit da keepin’ on. Da Gretchin, Tankbustas, and Stormboyz moved up, and da rest of da boyz laid down modakka. Da Grots cut loose on da Boarboy Nobz, droppin’ one uv dem and sprayin’ some green goo out anudder. Da ‘bustas gave some boomy luv ta Speedo’s battlewagon, shakin’ it around soze dat everryun init ‘ad to ‘old on fer dear life. 

Da Lootas let da Trukk wit Tan Squad 2 have it, kerblowin’ it up and vaporeezin’ five uv da boyz. Shoota Boyz gunned at da Boarboy Nobz and fragged one. Da Boom Wagon spunked at da Speedomobile but missed by five inches plus anudder four inches (yooze know dat Orkies ain’t gud at nummers ovah five).

Da Orange TopKnotz zommied up to da objective-tingy in da midda uv da board while most uv da rest uv da Kult made da move-it-move-it closa ta Sho-T’s gits. Da Buggies gave sum kerfoom ta da Lootas, zotzzinannuder Mek. Fire from rokkits and Trukk-mounteeed big shootas bagged three Stormboyz. Speedo and his Slugga Boyz did the hop-out by sum Shoota Boyz behind a wall and gave dem sum ventilashun, gunnin’ down five and annuder four (lotz of dem from Speedo’s burna). 

Den it wuz time fer da gud stuff: right proppa krumpin’, up close and personal-like. Da Boarboyz, Tan Squad 2 (wut wuz left uv dem, anyway), and da Dethskullz charged da Gretchin (dey wuz in da way) and slobberknocked dem all witout losin’ a single Speedo-boy. Da Nobz swept forwards five inches and annuder inch; da Tan Boyz went up four inches; but dem thievin’, no-good, backstabbin’ slacker Dethskullz only went one inch, prolly cuz dey wuz too busy filchin’ da ded grots’ pockets. 

A lil wayz off, Speedo and his Slugga Ladz jumpied ovah da wall at da Shoota Boyz and gotz dere faces full uv led and fists before dey could haul off and lay down sum smakk. When da frakas wuz dun, five and five Shootaz had been varnished, but so had five and five and three Sluggas. Da Slugga Nob tried to beat some sense inta his boyz wit his bosspole, but nuttindoin’. Speedo and da rest uv his ladz got trouncied, and dey had to rabbit outta dere plenty quick-quick every which-way and dat. Iffn yooze wanna get teknikal aboutz it, deze were “Caught inna sweepin’ ‘vanz and destroyzered,” but yooze knowz as well as I doz dat Speedo will be back again sum day….

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The Shoota Boyz revoke Speedo's license to drive, and then move up to give some more wut-fer to more of his Kult

Turn 3
Sho-T’s Stormboyz hopped closer, lookin’ to start some skat wit da Orange TopKnot krew. Everryun else just moved it up or heldz it right-and-tight, as da kase might be. Da Tankbustas let one uv dere bombsquigs off da chain, and da lil bassard herded hisself right inta da Boom Wagon, going kerpoopa! Da gud news wuz dat da only ting dat got all-broke wuz da Boom Wagon’s drive shaft, which ment dat it couldn’t go nowherez—as if! 

Sho-T’s ride drove up to da far objektive and parked it; he and his boyz hopped it out and he grabbed the tele-nokularz from Sprokkitz. Sho enuff, dere wuz Speedo doin’ da high-step off da field, like da wet end he wuz. Sho-T chuckled and lit hisself a ceegar fer some celebrate-akshun.

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As expected, Sho-T and his 'Ard Boyz claim the far objective. Now what?

In da Shooty-Shoot Faze, da Boom Wagon fired at Tan Squad 1, up dere all high-an-mighty in dere tower, but missed. Da Tankbustas smoked da Trukk uv da Orange TopKnotz, kareening it around and killin’ two uv da fruity-haired zoggers. Da Stormboyz got in on sum uv dat, shootindey sluggas and takin’ out five more Orange Boyz. Da Lootas gave some zzap to da Boarboy Nobz, pastin’ a Wound on one. Both mobz of Shoota Boyz let da Nobz know dey wuz dere, killin’ three uv dem. 

Den it wuz time fer more gud stuff. Da Shoota Boyz behind da wall (da onez dat had run off Speedo and kompanee) bricked dey diffikult terrain test and stood dere lookinstoopid. Da udder Shoota Boyz jumped off da line at da BoarNobz and Tan Boyz 2: when da dust settled, Sho-T’s Shoota Boyz had lost five and annuder two (all but one uv dem from Nobz doin’ da stompy-stomp), da Cyboar Nobz wuz gone, and da Tan Jobz had lost four and decided “fergettid.” Da Tan Klownz hoofed it out uv dere, fallin’ back five and two inches like da worthless moist pus-bagz dey rezemble.

Da Stormboyz brought it fer da Orange TopKnotz Trukk Boyz, knockin’ down all but da Knotz Nob (and dey wounded ‘im, too, just to show dey kould). The TopKnotz did whack five uv da Stormies, but dere wuz plenny more uv dem left. Da Knotz Nob legged it and da RokkitPakkerz let ‘im go, cuz it ‘ad been a right-good punch-up.

Description: Description: C:\Users\Keeg\Desktop\Kenton's files\The Jungle\website\return1g.jpg
Da Speedomobile krumps some Shoota Boyz with its yet-to-be-installed deffrolla

Juss cuz Speedo wuz gone didn’t mean dat his Boyz didn’t have sum fight in dem. Da drivah uv da Speedomobile hit da gas, and it rumbled forward, krunchin’ three of Sho-T’s Shoota Boyz unda its deffrolla: Har! Har!  Big shootas from Trukks, rokkits from da Buggies, and bang-bangs from da Dethskullz bagged annuder five Shoota Boyz, and den da Dethskullz made it all konfrontashunal whenz dey charged.

Da Dethskullz nailed five and three Shoota Boyz, da Shootaz only notched five, and den Sho-T’s boyz were leggin’ it like skeered Eldar twinkiezGatherin’ up looze change from da ded Shoota’s pockets, da Dethskullz slipped it back to dere ride and waited to see what da rest uv Sho-T’s boyz were gonna do ‘boutz it.

Turn 4
From where Sho-T wuz sittin’, tings looked dicey down at da udder end uv da field. He breeflee konsidered getting’ in da zoomwagon and makinfer da frakas, den decided dat by da time he got dere, it would be all ovah but da shoutin’.

Da Shoota Boyz dat wut ‘ad given Speedo da boot stumped it forward, ta get inta da mix, az did da Tankbustas and da Stormboyz. The ‘bustas let annuder BombSquig off da chain, and it ran KERBLOOIE! inta da back uv da Speedomobile, kersplodin’ it inta a jillion-and-five pieces, and nixin’ two of Sho-T’s Shoota Ladz who wuz standin’ too cloze, da stoopid apez

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Tankbustas (those guys on the far right) 'neek up on da Speedomobile and give it a right proppa flambé

Da Lootaz cut sum on da Dethskull’s Trukk, mooky-fookyin’ it, and den da Stormboyz and both setz uv Shoota Boyz (da weedy kowards wut wuz boltin’ and da boyz wutad just loss two in da Big Boom) unloaded on da Dethskullz, waxin’ not one blue-tattooed Speedo-boy. In bedder nooze, da Boom Wagon made a big bursta ovah Tan Boyz 1, who ‘ad ta dukk like weedy Guardsmen and still lost two. 

All embrassied at ‘how dey ‘ad brikked dere shootin’ ‘gentz da Dethskullz, da Stormboyz krashed in and gave dem da boot, wipindem off like dingleberriez and loozin’ two Rokkitboyz. Den da Stormies hunkered down in sum covah, krakked dere knukklez, and kongratzulated demselves onna gud piece uv work.

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Speedo's Warbuggies retreat as Sho-T's Stormboyz sweep resistance aside

Da fight wuz drawin’ to an end, so da Freebootaz, who ‘had been ‘angin’ ‘bout like useless monkeez inna neerby buildin’, shimmied down right-quick and parked demselves outta covah but onnatop uv an objektiv. Den dey took sum potshots at da Stormies, but didn’t kill nobody. Da Buggies yanked it back and popped some kapps in da Slugga Boyz, pastin’ one uv dem.

Turn 5
Da situmakashun wuz rapidly goinSho-T’s way. He finished off his Havvanna and heppied hizzelf to annuder as ‘e watched thru Sprokkit’s tele-noculars. Da Stormboyz bounced outta covah and went aftah da Freebootaz. Da Tankbustas moved up on Tan Squad 1, shootin’ and takin’ out two. Den da Boom Wagon went off again, pasting annuder two Tan Boyz as they dived fer da floor again. Da Shoota Boyz ran fer da objektiv in da midda uv da board, and da Lootas evapoahrated two uv da Freebootaz juss cuz dey didn’t ‘ave nuttin’ else ta shoot at, and to ‘onk off da Stormboyz, who also shot at da ‘bootz but didn’t do bupkiss.

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Freebootaz taking one of the objectives...but the Stormboyz are on their way to take it from them

Really kranked up now, da Stormies smashed inna da Freebootaz, intent on breakin’ one off up dey stripeypants-wearinbeehins. Da Stormies hit da wall, howevah, cuz tho da ‘bootaz did get four uv dere tikkets punched, dey wrekked da Stormboyz’s krap, wipindem out. Den da Buggies swung ‘round and took sum puffs at da Shoota Boyz, but dey all missed.

Turn 6
Da Tankbustas spotted da Buggies and went fer dem, lettin’ da last Bombsquig go. It baked one Buggy, and de konflagramashun torched annuder one, too. Hur! Hur!  Da Lootaz did da killa-zap on da Freebootaz, blastindem ‘til dey wuz all gone, and da Boom Wagon missed da Tan Boyz. Speedo’s last Buggy drove up on Sho-T’s Shoota Boyz, kappin’ one just ta be a dikk and ta kontest da objektiv

Den both bosses—Speedo as he wuz rabbitin’ and Sho-T as he wuz kontemplatnin’ a nap—heard the sound of Thunderhawks and Drop Pods, and dey knew dat da StripeyMarines were on dere way at last. Sho-T had Sprokkits call up Speedo on da sqwak box.

Iffn yooze up ferz it,” Sho-T said, idly scratching hizzelf, “we kan pikkz dis up again annuder time, after we give dem TigerBoyz da boot. Wut sez ya?”

“Race ya dere, ya fat, ugly lump!” Speedo replied, snappin’ off hiz own sqwak box an’ laffin’ like a MadBoy.
 

Objectives Held by Sho-T's Blood Axes: 1
Objectives Held by Speedo's Kult of Speed: 1
Objectives Contested: 1
Objectives Not Claimed: 1

Game Result: Tie


 

Post-Game Analysis  by Patrick Eibel
Nothing says a good time like Ork-on-Ork action. With woeful shooting on both sides of the board, you know the game will come down to close combat. I should have planned better for this outcome and not had my best close-combat unit holding an objective clear on the far side of the board.  Sho-T and the ‘ard Boyz he was with were far too expensive for such a passive role. They would have been better swapped with the unpainted Shoota Boyz mob, which would have held the objective just fine and still been able to toss off 36" big shoota shots. I still almost eked out a win if I could only have knocked out the final Buggy. Oh well. As predicted, the campaign will be hard-fought and close and the first battle certainly delivered.

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Kenton tried, but was never able to do much against the fortified Lootas and Meks

Post-Game Analysis  by Kenton Kilgore
My “brilliant” plan to engage a smaller part of Pat’s army was negated by the fact that I had to set up first, which allowed Pat to concentrate most of his forces right where he wanted them. Then, just to pile on, he managed to steal the initiative. Swine! Wily Ork Warlord that he is, he blunted my onslaught of Boarboyz Nobz and Trukk Boyz by throwing a speed bump of Grots at them, then whacked them with regular Boyz. Still, with Sho-T exiled to the other end of the board, I might have prevailed had Speedo and his ladz not gotten run out of Dodge. Once the Speedster went down, I was playing for a tie.

Lesson learned: never send a Speed Freek to do a Fighting Tiger’s job! There’s a lightning-clawed redhead who wants to see Sho-T, and she’s bringing an ass-whooping with her….

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After the Speedomobile goes bye-bye, Sho-T's Boyz hustle to an objective, which was later contested by a Buggy

 

Specul Post-Game AnalaAnyllaToths by Sho-T. BigHed
Da battle went eggzactly as I wanted. I diddn’t even break a toof smackin’ down dat punk Speedo, and my boyz made a purty good showing uv it. I diddn’t wanna put too bad a beatdown on dat fool, cuz I knewed da Stripey Marines wuz on da doorstep about to come in and I need ‘iz fool Kult boyz to run out and take da furst cazoolteez. Hur hur. Once da Stripeezav been tossed off da rock, I will finush giving Speedo wut fer.

Specul Post-Game AnalaWut ‘e Sed  by Speedo Da Big Mek
Nertz! I’ll get dat oilee zogger Sho-T yet, an’ uze iz innards ta greese da gubbinz uv me new, turbo-zoomie Speedomobilejuss as soon as I rebuilds it….


 

Return to Auros IX
Introduction <> Battle #1 <> Battle #2 <> Battle #3 <> Battle #4 <> Battle #5 <> Final Thoughts

Posted August 2010
 

Top

 

Fighting Tigers:
Codex <> Tactics <> Gallery <> Allies and Enemies <> Tales of the Tigers

Other Pages:
Main <> What's New <> Site Index <> The Tiger Roars <> Themed Army Ideas
Events and Battle Reports <> Campaigns <> Terrain <> FAQ <> Beyond the Jungle